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The Live-In Part 2

Posted in Real Talk with tags , , , , , , , , on July 23, 2009 by Diggems

Welcome to part 2 of living with your lady. I’m sure the women are already storming the gates and deploying specialized assassins to bring my head back on a pike. It wouldn’t be the first time. It’s ok ladies I’m just looking out for my fellow “brothers in arms”. Sit back and enjoy part 2…

Fun Police
Now that you’re all moved in and spending quality time, the next new awaking is the introduction to the fun police. From this point forth all fun has to be accountable and controlled by her. You are no longer allowed to enjoy yourself unless it involves her in some form or fashion.

You remember the day when you could just leave the house, hang out with the fellas, have the time of your life and tell her about it later. Yeah bro, those days are over. Now, fun must be handled with a similar mentality of a dope boy slanging crack rocks. You have to be crafty when you do it. You can’t let the whole world know you’re doing it, and you always have to be on the lookout for the fun police when in public. Nothing will piss your lady off more than her knowing that you’re enjoying yourself without her!

Checking in and Curfews
Whatever Diggems, I’m a grown man. I don’t have a curfew. I wish my lady would tell me when and where I need to be. She’s not my momma!”

Ahhh yes, male pride. I remember when I use to have that. The funny thing about having another mother is that you actually start to appreciate your real one. At least when you were a kid and missed your curfew you were grounded for a few day and then she left you alone.

As a grown man with a live-in girlfriend you don’t have the luxury of being left alone. Instead you get the never-ending argument of where you were, who you were with and what you were doing; then to top it off you have to sleep next to her. Can you imagine getting bitched out by your mom at the tender age of 14 and then having to sleep next to her when she’s done? At first your pride does nothing but get you in more trouble. You try to explain things. You take a stand. You win battle after battle. But then, finally, one day you just lose the will to fight. She wins the war. They always do.

Friends
When you guys were dating, all your friends loved your lady and she loved them. She was the cool chick that was down for whatever. She was a part of the circle.

Now that you live with her, all of a sudden, you spend entirely too much time with your friends. Every instance of interaction with your pals ends in an argument of who you want to be with more. You can’t even bring her around as often anymore because of the underlying tension. If they come over to your place your girl gives you her best stank bitch impersonation, and it’s always spot on. You end up sneaking around to see your friends as if it’s some type of twisted love affair.

Hey man, she just left. Can I come by?” You whisper like an escaping convict.

Sure. Does she know you’re coming over?” Your friend replies, showing true concern for your safety.

No. So I can only stay for the first half of the game,” you utter like a whipped dog.

Dude! You are such a bitch.

I know man, I know,” you admit like the bitch you’ve become.

Stay tuned for the conclusion. The Live-In part 3

Diggems

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