Adding Insult to Injury

artpolarbearOk, this is becoming a running theme here at Daily Fits.

When will people learn to leave wild animals the f*ck alone? As we have already pointed out, wild animals earned the title “wild” in order to highlight the fact that, at any given time, they will tear your damn face off! I’m starting to think that people confuse “wild” animals with “Girls Gone Wild… NEWS FLASH: It ain’t the same kinda “wild“… One will get drunk and show you its tits; the other will eat your drunk ass, tits ‘n all. Case in point below!

This weekend, a lady visiting the Berlin Zoo climbed a fence and jumped into the polar bear habitat during feeding time!?! Berlin police say that they do not know what motivated her to attempt this daring maneuver. After giving it some thought, I have a few possibilities. Either she was either trying to commit suicide (duh), or she recently watched the exact same TV show on polar bears that I saw.

Personally, I think it was number two and here’s why. Discovery Channel recently aired a show on polar bears (which was very interesting by the way) called “King of the Arctic“. The show’s narrator expained that, per year, polar bears kill only eight humans on average which, according to the show, make polar bears less deadly than dogs. Now let me point out the slight flaw in this logic, and probably the one that this German lady neglected to factor into her decision, when she decided to stage dive into a polar bear pit. Unlike dogs, millions of people do not own polar bears as pets. I doubt that there is a huge percentage of Eskimos that own polar bears as “guard bears”. Chances are you won’t see any signs outside an Eskimo igloo stating “Beware of the bear – Trespassers will be viciously mauled to death”.

I think it’s safe to assume that bears kill so few humans because:

·         Hardly anyone lives in the regions that “polar” bears populate… As in, its f*cking cold where they hang out

·         The few people that do live around polar bears are probably smart enough to stay the f*ck out of their way

images3In Alaska there are guided tours that – for a few thousand dollars – allow you to interact with the bears from the safety of an armored bus. If polar bears are so safe I doubt tour organizers would make you stay inside the arctic equivalent of an armored Humvee would they?

So back to our German Genius (GG for short). Either she happened to jump into the polar bear paddock on a day that the bears were in a foul mood, or as I’ve stated, if given an opportunity, polar bears will kick your stupid ass if you get too close.

It appears that the German police were not amused by GG’s antics. In addition to being severely injured by multiple bite wounds (look closely at her face in the picture above, she doesn’t look like she’s having any fun…) the police also served her with a citation for trespassing… Ouch!

Now that’s what I call adding insult to injury

Max

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