Yaaarrrr! Show Me Yer Booty!!!

dellaMany people don’t realize that piracy, just like pimpin’, ain’t dead. Nowadays when someone is accused of piracy, they are most likely guilty of bootlegging a CD or DVD. Well, this isn’t the type of piracy I’m referring to. I’m talking about old school “Pirates of the Caribbean” sh*t! Where a group of guys (and maybe girls) strap on a bunch of swords and guns, find a boat, and sail the high seas in search of victims to hijack!

It appears that the African nation of Somalia, especially, has a thriving piracy industry going. Today, a US cargo vessel became the latest victim, joining a British-owned cargo ship on Monday, in a rash of recent incidents off the coast of Somalia. Other victims include a 29 member Taiwanese fishing boat, a French yacht, a Yemeni tugboat and a German ship all within the past seven days. It’s become so bad that the US, China, Japan and other nations have deployed warships to the region.

According to assistant general secretary Mark Dickinson, of the UK ship masters’ union  Nautilus , “In Somalia, piracy is like a big, successful industry and the authorities there need to act. The pirates are treated like local heroes. People look up to them and girls want to marry them. They are seen by some locals as good people but they are ruthless.”

It is reported that Somalian pirates attacked or seized over 100 vessels in 2008 alone; with no end in sight.

Today’s victim, the “Maersk Alabama“, was carrying food aid to the East African nation of Kenya when it was attacked just off the coast of Somalia. Using tactics similar to the “Rebel Alliance” in Star Wars, these pirates use large “Mother Ships” to travel far out to sea, and then once a victim has been spotted, smaller attack vessels are deployed to attack or hijack the target.

dollarIt makes one wonder, are global economic situations so bad that crooks are now forced to resort to tactics made popular in the days of Christopher Columbus? What’s next, a rise in gas prices leading to a sudden spike in horse-drawn carriage car jackings? Do I now have to be on the lookout for gay men in green tights swinging around on ropes, looking for rich people to relieve of their gold?

I have a feeling it’s just a matter of time before one of the major cruise lines becomes a victim of this new wave of piracy… And just think, they used to be called “the friendly seas”…


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