“Hey Neighbor, Can I Borrow Some Sugar?”

Let’s just get straight to the point. In Stuttgart, Germany a couple is currently having trouble getting their money back from a neighbor who recently performed a “service” for them.  Demetrius Soupolos, 29 and his former beauty queen wife, Traute are now trying to discern, with the help of the German legal system, whether their neighbor, 34 year old Frank Maus’ intentions were honorable.

But I think we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves, so let’s flash back to six months earlier. Demetrius and his lovely wife Traute were working on having their first baby. Unfortunately for Demetrius, his “little soldiers” took a leave of absence and together they were unable to perform their manly duty. So instead of paying the high cost of artificial insemination, the couple decided to ask their neighbor Frank Maus for a little help. At the time it seemed like a great idea. They were all friends, he obviously lived close by, he was already married with his own children, and as luck would have it, he closely resembled Demetrius physically. It’s as if the planets aligned perfectly.

The couple arranged a payment of $2,500 for the job, and for the next six months – three evenings a week, Frank and Traute did the “humpty dance” in an effort to bring a crumb snatcher into the world. There was one small problem, after 72 attempts the Soupolos’ were still without child.

After awhile Frank’s wife started complaining. I guess the tri-weekly back breakings that Frank was  administering to Mrs. Soupolos were starting to get tiresome.

Franks only response was, “I don’t like this any more than you. I’m simply doing it for the money. Try and understand.”

The humpty dance continued.

Finally Mr. Soupolos also grew weary of waiting; I’m sure the sound of your wife being ravished by your neighbor, in your bed, three times a week like clockwork would begin to work anybody’s nerves. Mr. Soupolos demanded that Frank get a medical examination to see what was wrong.

taxes1Surprise, surprise, guess who failed their fertility examination. You guessed it! Frank. It appears that Mr. Soupolos wasn’t the only one shooting blanks. The doctor announced that Frank was also sterile. But what about his wife and kids you ask? The only one who wasn’t shocked at this “Jerry Springer moment” was Frank’s wife. She was forced to confess that Frank was not the real father of their two children. I swear you can’t make this sh*t up.

So let’s review… Frank was plowing through Soupolos’ hot beauty queen wife for six months and was getting paid to do it. Frank’s trifling wife was forced to watch as her husband clocked in three nights a week and earned his wages. But poor Mr. Soupolos drew the ultimate short stick in this whole fiasco. While Mrs. Soupolos was getting her weekly beef injections from Frank, Mr. Soupolos lost money, his wife’s innocence, his kid, and in the eyes of the world, his self respect.

Mr. Soupolos is now attempting to sue Frank for breach of contract. It’s probably more for pride than for anything else. Frank on the other hand is refusing to give the money back. His argument is that there was no guarantee for conception, but that he would only give an honest effort.

You have to read the fine print.

Diggems.

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6 Responses to ““Hey Neighbor, Can I Borrow Some Sugar?””

  1. Anonymous Says:

    I would of done her for free

  2. ivanhoe36 Says:

    Interesting – I never pictured trailer parks in Deutschland.

  3. Diggems Says:

    You ain’t never lie, but then again how much are we talking?

  4. What a dumb ass! Has this guy never seen “Indecent Proposal”. Rule #1 NEVER let another guy screw your wife!

  5. The crazy thing is, this stuff is all real!

  6. Where do you all come up with these stories?? Crazy stuff. But good too. 🙂

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