Quik F’its

I think I’m going to call this week’s edition of Quik F’its “THIS IS F**KING OUTRAGEOUS“, because a lot of off-the-wall sh*t has occurred over the past seven days! First up…

The Olympics aren’t the only things that are Special!
This country needs to hurry up and legalize pot! I now understand why so many Americans die from heart attacks and ailments brought on by high blood pressure and stress.

No, no. I have been practicing,” Obama said. “I bowled a 129. It’s like — it was like Special Olympics, or something.”

This comment by the president has sparked a firestorm of outrage… mostly by right-wing press outlets looking for any method available to distract Americans. During a time when many are seriously suffering, why do comments like these even warrant attention?

Some people are outraged at the fact that Obama was even on Jay Leno’s late night show; taking his appearance as categorical evidence that Obama could give a shit about the nation’s current crises. Don’t believe me?

March 20th, 2009 12:55 pm ET

What the heck is the President of the United States doing on a late night comedy show anyway??

Especially as Russia rearms itself, Iran has nukes, the economy is in the toilet etc etc….

Wake Up America!!
That very poignant statement comes from the comment section in a CNN article about Obama’s visit to the Leno Show. Ok point taken, we face some serious problems, but does the commenter really think that the president was presented with two options by his chief of staff?

Option one, Mr. President, is that you can stay here in Washington and talk Iran out of developing nukes, fix the nations sh*tty economy and solve global warming. Option two, you can hang out with Jay Leno, talk sh*t and tell insensitive jokes!”

And I’m guessing the commenter above feels that, after being presented with the two options, Obama sat in the Oval Office for a second with his hand on this chin in deep thought, and then with a watermelon smile exclaimed, “I’LL DO LENO!”

Again, this is a country that needs to seriously explore the idea of legalizing weed. Even if we start from a position that, as Diggems discussed with California’s Prop 215, allows the states to enact their own rules governing usage…

It sux 2 b u!
This week, prison authorities at Corcoran State Prison released this latest picture of, the now old and gray, Charles Manson. It was noted how the wild-eyed, crazy ass stare is no longer present, but instead has been replaced by what looks like utter defeat. I guess 40 years of being someone’s prison bitch will do that to ya…

Actually Manson is supposedly locked in protective custody, which usually happens when someone is convicted of killing 8 people, including a pregnant woman!

Not too much else to say about this one really; although, I did catch this press release from the prison on the internet…

Corcoran State Prison – come for the hor’ dourves, stay for the vicious three hour ass rapings!”

Speaking of vicious ass rapings…
Since when did it become en vogue for the government to dictate how, when, and how much someone gets paid? The bullsh*t that passed for politics this week was simply staggering.

Now, I know many of you won’t agree with me on this one, but seriously – since when did it become a crime for a company to compensate someone for a piss-poor performance on the job? Sh*t, if that’s the case, I can name at least 100 people that the govenment need to seriously consider recouping every dollar from – starting with George W. Bush (who, like AIG, also got paid with tax payer dollars), and ending with the androgynous (definition: having both masculine and feminine characteristics) guy at Wendy’s that put mustard on my burger when I clearly stated that I did NOT want MUSTARD!

Look, I understand where all the outrage is aimed, and I understand why “ethically”, taxing these guys to death on their bonuses might be the right thing to do, but everyone (with a brain) knows that ethics and politics do not share the same space; which is why we have a political system that thrives on cronyism, earmarks, pork barrel projects and general underhandedness.
Seriously, because of his ties to the labor unions, Obama himself is guilty of the exact same cronyism that allows our dysfunctional auto industry to continue to inject itself with the public’s tax dollars like a withdrawing heroin addict. Where’s that outrage?

Well that’s fine I guess, I just hope that the government doesn’t wake up one morning and decide it’s going to tax people at 90% because they didn’t declare their undying love for the president, or tax people at 90% because they are engaged in a homosexual relationship, or tax people at 90% because they are black, or tax people at 90% because they are old, or tax peop… You get the point!

Well, that’s the week of March 14th through March 20th, thanks for all of the emails. I’m going to start posting some of the funnier ones – some of you guys crack me up!

Oh yeah… before I forget
Fellas if you were planning on putting Donte’ Stallworth in your 2009 fantasy league, you may want to reconsider. For those that don’t know, Stallworth is an NFL wide receiver who formerly played for the New England Patriots, Philadelphia Eagles, and recently signed a $35 million dollar, seven year contract with the Cleveland Browns.

At 7 a.m. on Saturday March 14th Stallworth was accused of striking and killing Mario Reyes with his Bentley; Reyes was on foot. To his credit, Stallworth immediately issued a statement and began cooperating with the police…

Well it is now being reported that Stallworth was intoxicated with a blood alcohol level of between 0.08 and 0.16, which if charged with DUI manslaughter could have Stallworth facing a maximum 15-year prison sentence.
This could be shaping up to be the worst off-season in NFL history

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