What’s up doc? – Part 1

The Beginningevilmonkeybuisnesssuit5
Being an American is great, but even the “Land of the Free” has its occasional road blocks one must navigate on the way to complete liberation. Certain laws of the land require becoming a certain age, passing a particular test, and/or awaiting professional authorization. I, like most of you, have had to wait to achieve many things in my life. For example, we all had to patiently wait until we were 16 before we could acquire our driver’s license and harass our parents for their car keys. I wasn’t allowed to leave the country until I received my passport, and none of us can call ourselves high school/college graduates until we’ve received our diploma/degree. All of these achievements require certain steps and measures in order to become a reality.

Well here in sunny California I have earned the right to add one more legalized document to my extensive list. I can now officially smoke, and grow small amounts of marijuana legally. I’m sure to some of our readers this may sound a little strange.

I can hear you saying, “What do you mean, you can legally smoke Marijuana?”

Well, according to California’s proposition 215, due to my recent “anxiety” attacks, I am medically cleared to be a recipient of medical marijuana. I even have the legal documentation to prove it.

The Golden Ticket
A couple of friends with whom I work have been legalized for quite some time. I remember how I would go to work and notice the big shit eatin’ grins on their face day after day. Other card holders would come around and they would gather in their little circles and exchange info on who had the best product. They brought weed cookies, weed brownies, weed candy, weed cake… weed everything. All day, everyday they smoked, laughed, and ate the day away. Meanwhile, the rest of us mere mortals toiled through the day hour by hour until the director finally yelled, “It’s a wrap”.

At the end of the day I would walk by one of the department’s trucks and the usual suspects would be there laughing and passing a joint.

I eventually had to ask, “How in the hell are you guys able to do that?!?”

They all flashed their marijuana cards, “We can’t technically do this while we’re working, but it doesn’t stop us from bringing natures stickiest of the icky to work.

That day they sat me down at the end of their truck and dropped game in my ear.

The Plan
Flash-forward a couple of weeks later. I finally get an off day and drive to visit this physician who is literally called doc420.

<—– Did I mention that she is hot too!

I fill out the 2 page questionnaire and sit patiently in her waiting room. A couple of minutes later she walks in with my information in her hands. She scans over it briefly and asks me how long I’ve been having these “anxiety” problems. I tell her since I’d moved to California. She asked me why I didn’t use prescription medication.  I tell her that I didn’t want to risk being dependent on pharmaceuticals. She looked over my information one more time and tells me that I qualify. I sign the bottom of the release and she hands me my documentation, signed and sealed. The process takes no longer than five minutes (minus filling out the papers). It was that simple!

The Future
The next step is to hit up the local medical marijuana dispensaries. These little gems are where the real magic happens. Stay tuned for the lowdown.


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