Mr. Break-A-Bitch!

dollar1<—– This man, Helg Sgarbi, has been accused of blackmailing Susanne Klatten, married woman and mother of three. He reportedly had an affair with her, and then threatened to release pictures of them together if she didn’t pay up.

I know what you’re thinking right now, “So the f**k whatWho cares if this geeky looking guy is long stroking some cheating broad.” Right?

Well apparently, this geeky looking guy was indeed long stroking, because his victim happens to be Germany’s richest woman, and the 55th richest human being on the planet. That’s right! Helg was secretly d**king down the Heiress of the BMW motor company and 51.1 percent owner of chemical company Altana, a woman who has a personal fortune of around a cool $13.2 billion! Not bad huh?

shaqIt gets better though, Helg is a certified, card carrying Gigolo. You know, sorta like the guy from the movie Deuce Bigalow Male Gigolo, except that guy actually looks like a gigolo. ——————>

Now don’t get me wrong, looks aside, Sgarbi obviously has some serious game, and for that I salute him. He attempted to blackmail Susanne Klatten for $60 million! And has confessed to blackmailing several other wealthy women.

He could have actually got away with his crime if he hadn’t fallen victim to the second biggest ender of dreams…  greed (number one is women btw… ask King Solomon,  King David, Scarface, Eliott Spitzer, John Edwards). 

Apparently, when he first started asking her for money, she willingly gave him several million dollars; however, when she refused to provide more money he threatened to send compromising videos of them together to her husband and the media… So again, at first she willingly gave him millions before he threatened to blackmail her for more. Let’s put this in perspective for a second. He knocked her boots so thoroughly that she willingly parted with millions of Euros… MILLIONS.

Honestly, I think I’m pretty decent in bed; at least that’s what I’ve been told. Maybe these women were stroking my ego; maybe they were simply trying to protect my pride. I didn’t ask for their opinions, in almost all cases any “compliments” were volunteered. I have; however, NEVER received a direct cash infusion for my services. A shirt here, a cd there, lunch, dinner, you know, the basic stuff a trip to the mall will net you. This guy received MILLIONS from sex! In fact, Sgarbi still has not revealed the whereabouts of $12.5 million he had taken from his victims. That’s some pimp ass sh*t!

From now on, I will ignore anyone bragging about their exploits with women. I don’t care if its famous male pornstars Mr Marcus, former President Bill Clinton, or wannabe pimp Snoop Dog. Until you’ve d**ked millions of dollars out of the world’s wealthiest women you simply don’t deserve to be heard.

evilmonkeybuisnesssuit3Famed pimp Bishop Don Juan and that guy from the HBO Bunny Ranch show can’t hold this guys used condoms. In fact I’m going to start a “FREE Helg Sgarbi” petition. This guy doesn’t need jail time, he needs his own damn reality show. We can call it… “Mr. Break-A-Bitch“!


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2 Responses to “Mr. Break-A-Bitch!”

  1. Funny stuff … LOL.

  2. This takes the cake! Forget a reality show he needs a porno flick. I bet her husband doesnt leave her cheating ass though, unless he can get half out of the deal…

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