Doing Lines of iCoke

I don’t mean to sound condescending, Bourgeoisie, or Boujie:

Bourgeoisie: (Def.) is a classification used in analyzing human societies to describe a social class of people who are in the upper or merchant class, whose status or power comes from employment, education, and wealth as opposed to aristocratic origin. (source: wikipedia)

Boujie: (Def.) A person who embodies an attitude or state of mind of superior taste, inclination toward posh and luxurious goods, magnificent fashion sense, and an ultra chic persona that lends to the title of being Boujie. (source: urban dictionary)

However, I’ve never understood how someone can spend hours (even days) in a line for a consumer electronics device. Everyone has heard the stories; people camping outside in tents for 5 days prior to the release of a Playstation 3 or Xbox 360. Why? What can be so alluring about being the first person on the block to own a toy?

Now there are some enterprising people that know these “toys” will be in high demand and short supply (Tickle Me Elmo); therefore, they will wait outside a store for several days hoping to purchase one at the retail price, and then turn around and resell it for a huge profit on Ebay. To them my hat goes off… no pain, no gain, right? But what about the most recent launch of the iPhone? I’m hoping the 100+ people that were in line at the local mall, awaiting their turn to enter the Apple store and purchase the new 3G iPhone, knew that patiently waiting at home for about 2 days would get them the exact same phone without the hassle, the waiting, or the appearance of insanity! C’mon, it’s not like Apple and AT&T announced that the phone would be in short supply.

As discussed in, If My iPhone had P***y I’d Stick my D**k in it! (check it out, it’s enlightening) people really, really love their iPhone, myself included! However, there is a line (no pun intended) I will absolutely not cross…

Things Max won’t wait in line for…

1) A nightclub – Why is this? Simple… I spend too much time getting “swank” to stand around in a line looking “common” with the “common folk”. It’s guest list, cut-line, or nothing!

2) The men’s bathroom – For some reason women will wait in a line wrapped twice around the club/restaurant before earning their turn to use the Little Girls Room. I remember once seeing a young lady crying in line at a nightclub; apparently she had to “potty” that urgently… Puuuhhhleeeassssseeeee! If the line to use the bathroom extends outside the bathroom I will either A) “hold it”, and come back later when the line dissipates, or B) pay the person at the front of the line to cut…

3) An iPhone…

In my opinion, if you choose to stand somewhere in line for more than one hour you’d better be getting a brand new drivers license, or an opportunity to kiss the Pope’s feet. Seriously let’s examine this for a second. The year is 2009, you honestly do not need to wait in line for anything anymore. With the power of the internet you can purchase damn near anything without leaving the comfort of your own house. I know at least two people that ordered their iPhone’s online and received them the day after it was released. No lines, no smelly consumers, no arthritis from prolonged standing… nothing; just a shiny new iPhone without the hassle of waiting!

I too was hoping to purchase a new iPhone on the day it was released. Not because I’m unhappy with my old one, not because I’m trying to make a tidy profit on Ebay, and not because I want to show it off to all of my friend and gloat about how “cool” I am (I already know I’m cool, I don’t need a phone for confirmation…). No, I wanted to purchase one and get it over with. I know I don’t need the new iPhone; however, for me the high-speed 3G internet and GPS navigation will help kill two birds with one stone…

1) No matter where I am, I will be able to conveniently search online for the closest strip club at super fast 3G broadband speeds

2) Then, once I’ve used my iPhone’s super fast 3G internet to locate the nearest strip club, I will be able to use the new GPS assisted turn-by-turn directions to get there quickly and hassle free!

I’m actually hoping that eventually strip/nightclubs will allow you to purchase tickets online the same way movie theatres do. Then I’ll even be able to use my iPhone to purchase tickets in advance; that way I won’t be forced to wait in queue with the “smelly line campers”… Wait! You know what, on second thought, maybe I am a Boujie bastard…



One Response to “Doing Lines of iCoke”

  1. iPhone lover Mandy Says:

    I love my iPHone but there is no way I was gonna wait in line for 2 days. I understand why some people are willing to wait (pride factor). I just ain’t one of em. Anyway, I love the title “Daily F’its”, keep up the good work. 🙂

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